Going to Meetings I Dont Really Like
Im sober over 12 years and I still go to a lot of meetings. I even go to a particular meeeting that I dont really enjoy most of the time. First lets look at why I dont enjoy it. Its a very large 100 person type meeting that happens everyday at noon. Even though its so large and well attended there is a group of about 10 people who dominate the talking time. Some of them have very good things to say most of the time but I find it hard to get past the fact that they insist on speaking daily. There are so many people that would talk if they were given a small pause to get up their courage. While some of the talkers have good experience to share, some simply want us to know how smart they are. They either launch into a lecture on the book or they give as their opinions about life as an alcoholic. They begin almost every sentence with “I think….”. There’s one guy who generally talks about how grateful he as he points out all the cripples and blind people that let him know how good he has it. So why do I go?
Well its the closest meeting to my work so only getting an hour for lunch is a factor BUT…. There are other reasons.Sometimes I treat it as an exercise in patience.
No matter whats said its always nice to see people I do like. I wish they would share more though. I dont like to share often myself because Im always late and usually leave early because of lunch. I have shared in there before about the spirit of rotation and participation from the 12 concepts of service. My mighty words had no effect on any egos as far as I could tell.
Another reason is there are a good many newcomers who pick up desire chips. In fact this was the first meeting i wento after my last drink. It took me a little longer to put down drugs but putting down booze was a big deal for me.
So I guess when I break it down I need to go to even the bad meetings and when I put other ahead of me and when I can put principles before personalities I do ok. When Im not doing good though sometimes I leave that meeting cussing and swearing never to come back (rarely where other can hear me).